" The rest of the session was spent with Phil trying to help Mary discover just exactly why she thought it was ok to cheat on Mike.Friday evening after dinner was when they had decided to tell the children of their impending divorce. Mike took the lead and in a calm voice and using simple terms, he told the kids that they were not happy living together and had not been happy for some time. Mike explained that it had become to difficult and painful to continue living together as husband and wife and that he would be seeking a divorce as soon as possible. Mary really didn't have much to say so she just sat there while Mike explained to their kids what was happening to their family.Finally, Mike just ran out of steam. There were only so many words that could be said about the end of a marriage and the end of a family. Billy, the oldest got up and walked over to give his dad a long hug. "I love you Dad, can I come live with you when you leave?" Tammie jumped up from the couch and ran over. What Ethan and I do feels so different, so other that I actively didn’t realize that I’m being unfaithful for an embarrassingly long time. When it hits me, I feel terrible. Jess is an amazing woman and I’m the one who pushed to be exclusive with her. She’s a wild girl at heart and I’ve tried to tame her, only to screw around behind her back. Guilt gnaws at me and I’m finding it harder and harder to know how to act around her. I go through phases where I dote on her and initiate constantly, trying to make up for what I’m doing to her, and then phases where I don’t.Should I be sleeping with her when I’m thinking of him? No, probably not, but if I don’t, won’t she feel like I’m not attracted to her anymore? Round and round I go.What with the Ethan-induced madness and the Jess-induced guilt, I am a mess. Juggling work and my very complicated private life is wearing me out, but at the same time, I have never felt more alive.In this vaguely unhinged spirit, I arrive at Ethan’s one evening..
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